There is an article in this months Weight Watchers magazine about the different types of saboteurs on your weight loss journey. For me though there is one missing ME! As you know I had a bit of a challenge this week with meals out for my husbands birthday and family meal before my mum and step dad flew to Australia for 3 months and I knew I was going to go over my points and I knew I was going to order cheese and onion pie with chips and mushy peas instead of a healthy salmon and that was fine. I was going to enjoy it and not beat myself up about it. My trip to Ireland is tomorrow and it will be an early start to the airport and a late arrival home so again I’m fine with that what will be will be. What I’m not fine with is my efforts to self sabotage yesterday and today when there was no reason why I couldn’t have been a good Weight Watcher. Yesterday started great I had a spinach, mushroom and tomato omelette wrapped in a Weight Watchers wrap and I made a lovely fish pie for my tea . I used a fish pack from Asda so I just had to throw that in (10pp or 0 on F&H) made a cheese sauce using cream (6pp, quark 1pp, cottage cheese 1pp and low fat cheese 4pp) then I made butternut squash mash to put on top-I also discovered a quick way to cook a butternut squash in the microwave-cut it in half and deseed put the first half face down (skin side up) in the microwave for 10 minutes, turn it over do the same then leave for 5 minutes and do the same with the other half and you have lovely mashed butternut squash 🙂 but then I went into self sabotage mode. Firstly my mum was clearing out her fridge before she went away so I made myself a cheese sandwich to help her out with this terrible problem she faced. I also tried to help her empty her chocolate tin by having a mini dairy milk bar. As you can tell I’m very helpful. In addition to this my own fridge freezer has been making some very strange noises so I have turned it off for a few days. Luckily I have a spare one in the shed so transferred the food to there. However, it’s jam packed and I needed to make room so I thought I would solve this dilemma by eating -you guessed it-the cheese that was in there. Now I think you also know me well enough by now to know that I don’t eat ‘nice’ cheeses without wine. I knew it was wrong, I knew the damage I was doing, I knew that I won’t get where I want to be if I had it, but hey my mum had gone to Australia for 3 months and I was tracking her flight online plus there was a live episode of Big Brother on so therefore it’s ‘allowed’ isn’t it??? Today has seen a gym session, toast, peach and an egg salad so far with Quorn and veg planned for tea. However, my husband is working late tonight, my daughter is sleeping at my mother in laws as I have an early start to the airport in the morning and after a relaxing pamper bath I’m hoping the sabotage monster doesn’t rear his head again to encourage me to ‘treat’ myself to something I shouldn’t i.e a glass of red! It has been so hard to keep focused when I knew I was going to have so many bad days and I don’t know why I do it to myself. I know what is healthy, I know what I need to do to lose weight so why don’t I just do it?? I need to change my mindset. I have just taken delivery of Allen Carr Easyweigh To Lose Weight (no not Alan Carr off the TV 🙂 ) as I stopped smoking many many years ago by reading his stop smoking book so I’m hopeful that I can retrain my brain to stop being so destructive. I’ll let you know how it goes…..