That’s my confession today. Pure and simple. I’m struggling to get back on track.
I was going to do it on Saturday but then I ended up ordering a jacket with tuna and cheese whilst at Jungle Mayhem with my daughter, sister and niece. I wasn’t even hungry but had it because they were eating. Saturday night I dug into the cheese. Sunday started well but we went to a different play area-it really needs to stop with the wind and rain so we can go in the park! Before I knew it I had eaten a packet of crisps-I don’t even eat crisps. This was followed by cheese salad sandwich and chips.
It’s like I have been taken over by some crazed eating monster.
I’m not even hungry yet I am literally stuffing my face-the amount of cheese I consumed across Saturday and Sunday night is quite frankly disgusting.
I’m not feeling much love for myself at the moment at all and I’m just going around in a vicious circle of self loathing and over eating.
I hardly slept last night-A-because my daughter has decided she doesn’t want to go to sleep and stay asleep by herself at the moment and B- I was lay in bed just beating myself up about how I’ve just messed it up.
Most people went back to work today after the Christmas break and that’s spurred them to crack on as they are back in a routine but for me I’m not going anywhere.
I’m self employed and the contract I was on finished at the end of December so I’m currently not working.
I originally viewed this as a great time to workout at the gym and focus on healthy meals but there’s still the fact that within the next couple of months I need a job and it’s likely to have to be a full time role which I haven’t had since before I went on mat leave 2.5 years ago.
I did go to the gym this morning and my meals have been good but I’ve also eaten dairy milk today-17 smart points worth!
My husband bought me some gorgeous lingerie for Christmas and he wants to know why I haven’t worn it yet.
With my body looking as it does the last thing I want to do is waste expensive underwear on it-big knickers please!
I tried it on today and took a picture in the hope to motivate me and I’ve seen a few posts over the weekend about ‘if you want it you will do whatever it takes’ etc. And I do want it! I do want to be back to a slim and healthy me but I’m struggling and I can’t see where my motivation is going to come from. End of confession