A lady on my group got to goal on Friday. I have never been in a meeting before when this has happened and I was moved by her speech. I wasn’t the only one and there was hardly a dry eye in the room as she told us about her journey and some huge emotional obstacles that she faced along the way. In addition to being inspired by her something she said really struck a chord with me. She said that no matter what shit is thrown at you, things happen out of your control and when all that is going on the one thing you do have control over is what you put in your mouth.
It’s strange that I’ve never looked at it like this before because I am a HUGE control freak!
Yet as you know from previous confessions I am a big emotional eater and when someone has annoyed/upset/peed me right off I get my ‘revenge’ on them by cracking open the wine and cheese. Which only serves me further damage and the guilt the next day. I simply have no control.
I’ve mentioned before about using Allen Carrs Easy Way methods to stop smoking and one of the main points I took from that book was that people smoke when they are stressed but the situation is still the same after the cigarette. Smoking doesn’t resolve it. My leader has also talked about this. If we feel stressed or upset but then let that lead to losing control and turning to food to help ease the situation, the situation hasn’t resolved itself but now we feel worse for spiralling out of control.
So this week I’ve been very conscious of not losing control-even with an all day hangover on Sunday (seriously not been that ill in a long time!) I still weighed and pointed the little food that I did eat.
All my meals for the week were planned out on Friday night ready to start again on Saturday and my gym sessions were planned and I have stuck to that
So yes I guess do have control-when I want to and the devil isn’t waving wine and cheese at me from the kitchen-do you?