I have been wallowing this week. For those that don’t know from previous blogs, when I returned from maternity I was made redundant. The redundancy was extended by 3 months then a week after being made redundant I restarted back at my old job as a self employed contractor (keeping up?). This suited me perfectly as it allowed me to spend more time at home with my daughter-even working away still meant on balance I had more quality time at home. That contract finished in December and although I do have 2 businesses they are really in their infancy.
I have embraced the fact that I’ve got a few months breathing space to find a new role and I’m enjoying going to music class with my daughter and spending more time with her and when she’s in nursery spending time at the gym, but this week I have hit a wall. I’ve said before that my job is a trainer so I’m used to spending time helping people achieve their goals and objectives whether that’s hitting sales targets or understanding how to do a VAT return and I miss it.
I was convinced with my skills and experience I’d get a job within a month (I was offered 3 jobs when I was first made redundant and turned them down) as without being big headed I’m good at what I do. My delegates tell me how much I inspire and motivate them and that I’m very patient (this makes me chuckle as I’m the most impatient person I know so I must hide it well!)
This week that positivity has disappeared and with it all rationale of eating well. Yes I’m working hard in the gym and love my DOMs, yes I have eaten healthy meals but also I’ve snacked on chocolate during the day and wine and cheese at night. My skin has taken a hit, I’m bloated and tired and worrying about what the next couple of months will bring which means I don’t sleep properly.
This week has to be about breaking bad emotional crutch habits. So I’m aiming to have a cheese, wine and chocolate free week but I also know that if I have an occasional slip I have to forgive, forget and move on and not make it an excuse to continue doing it for the rest of the week.
I will not wallow because I don’t want to be a hippo