That’s my confession today. For the first time since I rejoined in April 2013, today was the first time I’ve missed it (with the exception of holiday).
So why did I miss it?
I’ve struggled this week. I had a night out on Saturday-cinema and Pizza Express. I had popcorn in the cinema but it was the skinny popcorn and I had a Leggara pizza and shared a portion of dough balls and garlic bread so I felt nicely in control but Sunday as I knew I had my uncles funeral on Monday so I was going to be off track (buffet food) I didn’t really ‘bother’. Don’t get me wrong I didn’t stuff my face but I wasn’t paying too much attention to what I was eating.
The funeral came and went and on Tuesday I was determined to stay on track and food wise I have been fine but after a few stresses with work I ‘relaxed’ with wine Tuesday and Thursday evening.
I felt horrible and I knew I had had a gain but I have in the past and this has never stopped me going to class.
I was feeling particularly emotional today and I don’t know if it was the not great choices I made in the week, the fact I felt like the marshmallow man from Ghostbusters, the fact I knew I had a gain (although it was only a pound as I weighed myself at home first which to be fair is not usually a good idea), or if it was to do with a couple of stresses at home.
Whatever it was as I was on my way to my class-yes I was actually on my way-I got really upset and the closer I got to class the more upset I got. Part of me was saying ‘you need to go’ the other part was saying ‘you can’t wander into the meeting in tears’ at the last minute I did a left turn and headed up the road away from my class.
I knew I needed the class though. It would have given me an emotional hug, I feel like it would have soothed me and I just need to sit in a meeting and listen, it’s like therapy.
I knew my leader was on holiday so that may have played a part in my decision but I really felt I couldn’t have held it together.
So I went home (my daughter was at my sisters as I drop her there before going to the meeting) and I took 10 minutes to myself. I then spent 3 hours with my daughter, sister and niece in Heaton Park enjoying the sunshine and the surroundings.
That gave me my emotional hug and I feel better now. I still feel the need to be soothed by a meeting but I will be back attending next Friday and I’ve already started to plan my week to get control back.
I’m looking forward to dealing with my emotions this week and not eating-well mainly drinking them, see the results on the scales next week and take my seat in the meeting