Despite my 4lb gain on Thursday I still spent the next few days eating and drinking without pointing.
I was out for a meal on Thursday night and had garlic bread and a tuna melt with chips but I drove so didn’t drink-until I got home that is!
Friday we had lunch out at a play area and had tuna mayo cheese buttie-on white bread! with chips. I also have a terrible habit of having a cup of tea and a kitkat when we go there-a 4 finger kitkat too not a 2 one.
Friday night was wine and cheese, Saturday started well but it was the one day I was allowing myself a mince pie with my Baileys thick double cream-I guesstimated it was about 20 smart points! A trip to my mums saw me eat about 5 chocolates from a box of heroes and for NYE we stayed in so it was cheese wine and crackers.
I woke feeling very ropey yesterday morning and my body couldn’t decide if I was hungry or just absolutely full to the brim.
I had some spread cheese on toast-light which I promptly threw back up. We went to my mother-in-laws for lunch and she gave me some tonic water to settle my stomach. this enables me to eat a large vegetable samosa before lunch. Lunch was pretty carb heavy. Everyone else had chicken but she had done me a large jacket potato served with a tomato and cheese pasta. She also had a dahl which was delicious. I ate the jacket, left most of the pasta (although I ate some as I didnt want to appear rude or ungrateful). She gave me 2 mini naans to go with the dhal-there was rice out but I don’t like it. I had one of the naan breads. This was followed by a large piece of viennetta then the tub of roses came out. I honestly lost count of how many I had. It was quite ridiculous.
We watched a film last night-Girl On A Train, nowhere near as good as the book just incase you were wondering-this involved yet more wine and cheese because I knew it was my last night of being a pig.
I dread to think how much more weight I have put on since Thursday. I always pile it on when I have chocolate. I can go over on cheese and wine and (sometimes) get away with it but chocolate always hits the scales. I’m feeling very fat and bloated and I’m back on track today. I have got a brand new Weight Watchers journal (I love the new journal and have enjoyed filling it in to get me focussed) and planned meals for the week. I don;t get weighed until Friday so here’s to some damage limitation
That’s my confession today. Pure and simple. I’m struggling to get back on track.
I was going to do it on Saturday but then I ended up ordering a jacket with tuna and cheese whilst at Jungle Mayhem with my daughter, sister and niece. I wasn’t even hungry but had it because they were eating. Saturday night I dug into the cheese. Sunday started well but we went to a different play area-it really needs to stop with the wind and rain so we can go in the park! Before I knew it I had eaten a packet of crisps-I don’t even eat crisps. This was followed by cheese salad sandwich and chips.
It’s like I have been taken over by some crazed eating monster.
I’m not even hungry yet I am literally stuffing my face-the amount of cheese I consumed across Saturday and Sunday night is quite frankly disgusting.
I’m not feeling much love for myself at the moment at all and I’m just going around in a vicious circle of self loathing and over eating.
I hardly slept last night-A-because my daughter has decided she doesn’t want to go to sleep and stay asleep by herself at the moment and B- I was lay in bed just beating myself up about how I’ve just messed it up.
Most people went back to work today after the Christmas break and that’s spurred them to crack on as they are back in a routine but for me I’m not going anywhere.
I’m self employed and the contract I was on finished at the end of December so I’m currently not working.
I originally viewed this as a great time to workout at the gym and focus on healthy meals but there’s still the fact that within the next couple of months I need a job and it’s likely to have to be a full time role which I haven’t had since before I went on mat leave 2.5 years ago.
I did go to the gym this morning and my meals have been good but I’ve also eaten dairy milk today-17 smart points worth!
My husband bought me some gorgeous lingerie for Christmas and he wants to know why I haven’t worn it yet.
With my body looking as it does the last thing I want to do is waste expensive underwear on it-big knickers please!
I tried it on today and took a picture in the hope to motivate me and I’ve seen a few posts over the weekend about ‘if you want it you will do whatever it takes’ etc. And I do want it! I do want to be back to a slim and healthy me but I’m struggling and I can’t see where my motivation is going to come from. End of confession
I have a hangover and I don’t mean of the head. I have a belly hangover. A big belly literally ‘hanging over’ all bloated and swollen and swinging about somewhere below my waist.
I went to a weigh in on Tuesday-my usual one is a Friday and I didn’t want to wait until next Friday and go 3 weeks without being weighed as the result would have been horrendous. I put on 3.5lb. In 10 days. That 3.5lb went on so easily in 10 days but it will take longer than 10 days to get rid of it. Plus that was Tuesday and things are worse now!
I went out for the meal for my nieces birthday on Tuesday night and had cheese and onion pie. They had made it using filo pastry so it wasn’t as bad as a big shortcut pastry crust.
Wednesday started so well. Dropped my daughter at nursery then walked to the gym in my new comfy pink hoodie that Father Christmas brought-my old gym fleece I have had for about 15 years because who cares what you look like in the gym?? I don’t understand why people pitch up with a full face of make up and immaculate hair swishing around. I bumped into an accountant a few weeks ago that I had delivered a training course to, I was in my gym gear and he took a few seconds to realise who I was!
Anyway back to the gym. I got there all ready to go and it wasn’t bloody open!! So back home I went. I was working from home so decided to go at lunch but by lunchtime it was the last thing I wanted to do. I had to have a serious motivation chat with myself to even get me through the door.
I was disappointed when I got there though because all the weight machines I use were being used by the ‘posers’ you know the ones who strut around with a ‘look how big my muscles are’ attitude and I find them really intimidating. I feel like they are looking at me and saying why she she lifting weights the big fatty. I managed to get some stuff done which is better than nothing. Before you say well why didn’t you just go on the treadmill I will confess that it is yet another gym mystery to me. What is the point of running and getting nowhere? If you want a run why not do it outside and get some fresh air and vitamin D at the same time instead of watching Good Morning Britain or a rerun of Coronation Street?
After the gym I returned home and as my husband is off this week he had made me a lovely tuna salad. My last nutritious meal was Christmas Day so my body was in serious need of it. I blew it though on Wednesday night-remember all that cheese I still have….
New Years Eve I found a box of Family Circle biscuits that we had bought in the ‘Christmas Shop’. Now I don’t usually buy biscuits because I’m not really bothered about eating them. That did not however stop me eating 2 custard creams (dipped in a cup of tea of course), 2 chocolate fingers, a choc chip cookie and a biscuit I didn’t even like!
My daughter is at my mother in laws for a couple of nights so we went to the cinema to watch the new Star Wars film-which by the way is brilliant and way better than the last 3 films that were churned out.
The husband and I did get a small pix ‘n’ mix to share (white chocolate mice, chocolate nuts and raisins and fizzy cola bottles that make you pull a funny face the minute they go in your mouth 🙂 ) then headed home where we had a Chinese. I was asleep when the clock struck midnight and have woken up with belly ache again due to a crap day of eating. I’m out for a meal tonight but then that is it!
The blackboard is coming back out today and I’m going to plan meals and exercise from tomorrow onwards. It’s now only 8 weeks until my 40th birthday party so that’s 8 weeks to work on the hangover! Here’s to a healthier 2016. Happy New Year!
Christmas Eve, Christmas Day and Boxing Day are done! Did you eat drink and be merry?
For me the Baileys was cracked open at 3pm on Christmas Eve. I hold a Christmas Eve party every year where we track Santa and family and friends pop in for a drink and a bit to eat. I decided to do something different this year and did cheese and crackers but with a festive twist! (I spent £50 on various different cheeses to do this and keep me stocked through the festive period)
I didn’t actually eat that much as I was seeing to guests. When they left at 7pm my daughter and I put the mince pie, milk and carrot out for Father Christmas (this is the first year she understands and I’ve loved every second of it!) my husband had left wrapping presents to the last minute so whilst he was busy doing that I relaxed and watched the soaps with some wine and cheese.
After opening presents on Christmas morning my step children arrived for breakfast-I do bacon, egg and sausage butties because it’s easy to eat-and I serve it on paper plates because who has time to wash pots on Christmas Day morning??! It is the only morning of the year where I have Quorn sausage, Quorn bacon and egg on a toasted cheese muffin with brown sauce, yummy! Well I say it’s usually the only day I have it but it’s 27th December today and I’ve just had it again for the third day on the run for breakfast!
Christmas lunch is fine with sprouts, parsnips, swede and carrot, potatoes and Quorn roast-it’s the prosecco that does the damage!
Boxing Day was all about cheese sandwiches and chocolate then cheese and wine night at my sisters.
So today I sit here with a belly as round as Father Christmas feeling bloated and very lethargic. I had planned a trip to the gym yesterday and today but that hasn’t happened because it’s too comfy in my new pjs and slippers
As I mentioned before I have lunch at my mother in laws today, a meal for my sisters birthday tomorrow night and a meal for my nieces birthday the night after that. So today is my last ‘Christmas Day’ breakfast and I’m going to eat what I want at the meals but it’s salad for lunch! (And maybe the odd mince pie and Baileys cream-have you tried Baileys cream? Its amazing but is 4SP for a teaspoon, a tesapoon! oh and there’s still the small matter of the lovely different cheeses that are sat in the fridge…..)