Why I’ve Been AWOL

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I’ve not written for a long time because to be honest I haven’t had the energy or was  not ready to face what I was doing.

Last summer I felt AMAZING. Seriously it’s been a long time since I felt that good and getting my 50lb award was unbelievable plus I was only half a stone away from goal. Suddenly after all this time it seemed achievable-I was nearly there!

However…I now sit here over a stone heavier with disappointment firmly at the front of my mind. So what happened?

I’m fully aware that what I’m about to say sounds like excuses but here we go:

I was ill in July and August last year. I was getting dizzy spells, was light headed and at times felt my head was going to explode or I was going to pass out and never wake up. It was a very scary time as I didn’t know what was happening to me. In addition my appetite was ridiculous and I could go from nought to starving in less than 10 minutes. I also craved sugar. I had various tests but after 4 weeks it was concluded that it was down to stress. I was by this point showing 5lb gain. I then went on holiday and had a lovely time and put on a further 3lb.

Once back from my holiday I got back into gear but due to work I had to change my weigh in meeting. I can’t believe the impact this had and I just couldn’t get my head around being weighed on a different day. I eventually settled back into a Friday weigh in but at lunchtime instead of the morning.

So I was back on track and Christmas was fast approaching. Just before Christmas my mum was admitted to hospital and on Christmas Day we were called to the hospital as she was very poorly and was being admitted to ICU. (She had the Aussie Flu). Thankfully after 3 weeks she was out  of danger.

Once again I got myself into gear but before I knew it my birthday was here which I was away for and then my mum got married. All lovely happy occasions which I celebrated and enjoyed.

Then it was time to get back on it. A few weeks later was Easter and as we had missed out on Christmas we chose Easter Sunday to have our Christmas Day. Eastmas as we called it. It was a fab day but I’m sure you can imagine what Christmas Day dinner combined with Easter chocolate looked like!

Ok so that was done and dusted AGAIN time to get back on track. I started my exercise again which for me makes a real difference.

Then last week my brother-in-law (who is just 4 days older than me) ended up in a coma due to an infection and we sat in the hospital last Monday night as the doctor told us they had saved his life once but they couldn’t guarantee they could do it again. My go to-as you probably know-is cheese wine and repeat which I spent all last week doing. Resulting in 3lb gain last week.

He is now out of the woods.

Yesterday after I dropped Scarlett at school I decided to have a day off. Time for me. I had breakfast in bed and watched a film and then I slept for a few hours. When I woke up I woke up feeling better and stronger.

I appreciate that people go through much worse than this and it could be looked like I was just using all these things as an excuse to abuse my body with crap whilst telling myself it was justified.

Last night I went back to a weights class that I love doing. For me my happy weight is always when I have also exercised. They go hand in hand. I feel stronger both physically and mentally. So yes I am a stone heavier and yes I have got things coming up-wedding this weekend, friends 40th the next. BUT it’s time to take back control. It’s time to be me 😊

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Personal Goal Achieved!

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IMG_8541.JPGWhen I started back on WW after my daughter was born I set myself a personal target of 11 5. This was the weight I was when I got married. I genuinely couldn’t see myself getting to my recommended goal weight of 10 6-and that’s the top end of it!
Today though after 3 years I achieved it!
3.5 stone gone, and I know for some that might seem along time but if you’ve read my blogs from the start you will know the challenges I have faced both mentally and work wise.
What’s interesting though is that despite hitting my personal goal I’m almost a dress size bigger than I was then. At the time I was doing boot camp 4 times a week so although I’m chuffed to bits I’ve hit it it just shows how much of an impact exercise has. I still do exercise but not to the extent I did then-throw a 3 year old in the mix and popping off for an hours boot camp 4 times a week doesn’t work so my exercise these days is a home workout that I can do with Scarlett in the house.
I would say the last 6-8 months have been when I’ve got to grips with things more and even though I enjoy my weekly ‘treat’ night I have made small changes bit by bit and all of a sudden goal is just 13lb away!
Before that though there’s the ‘small’ matter of reaching my 50lb loss award which is just 1 pound away! It’s my friends hen party next weekend but before I head off on Friday I will be getting weighed and fully intend to walk out clutching my 50lb award and feeling FABULOUS as I head off on a hen weekend-bring it on! 💪🏻

There’s A Change Happening….

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Not blogged for ages sorry as just been so busy plus I’m using my journal to the full and spilling all my confessions out in that!
I wanted to let you know where I’m up to. 5 weeks ago I started a brand new journal along with a 10 week home improvement workout. I haven’t in this time used the gym.
There a few things that have changed in the last few weeks:
1-I track Fridays. I get weighed on a Friday and as we know anything goes on weigh in day! I’m not counting it in but I’m writing it down and totting it up which is a start-and also making me reign in my ‘cheat’ day.
2-Still on tracking, I HONESTLY track. I had a terrible hangover day a couple of weeks ago where I went through 113 SP in a day-A DAY!! 🙈 but for me that made me aware of what I was dealing with so focused on the rest of the week and had a loss that week.
3-I still haven’t had a takeaway pizza. We are now coming up to 7 months! Can I make it to a year??? Think it’s a month at a time thing.
4-When I look back at my weekends it might not seem it but I’m ‘better’ than I have been (sort of)
5-I have stuck to my exercise program. I’m at the halfway mark of it and lost 4.5 inches and 3.5lbs. Now I appreciate some of you are thinking is that all in 5 weeks??!! But putting it in context of 5 meals/drinks out, being a tired mummy, wife and employee who has not put anything on hold and enjoyed nights out and I’ll happily take that
6-my clothes are looser. I wore a pleated size 12 skirt last weekend! Pleats are not forgiving if they are tight. I was going to wear pumps with my outfit (which would have looked great) but I wasn’t quite ready to give up a little height to help me look slightly thiner. More confidence needed here!
7-this is a biggy for me. Those who have read previous posts will know the battle I had with PND and the horrid things you say to yourself but I’m kinder to myself which makes me happier. I track everything so therefore I’m aware of what I’m eating. Then I let it go, because there’s no point dwelling on the fact I’ve eaten a big cheese butty! It’s gone (and enjoyed),so I’ve let it go.
There’s still plenty of changes to make but I feel like there’s changes happening that are for good!

I ate a pizza

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I ate a pizza!IMG_6547.JPG
Went out for a belated Christmas lunch with some of my helpers from one of my meetings. It was an Italian and I’ve not had a pizza for AGES. (I’m still going strong on my takeaway and haven’t had one since 10th September so coming up to 5 months! 👍🏻)
So I ordered the pizza. Thin crust 10in with tuna and pineapple. I wasn’t planning on eating it all but I did because it was so nice just to eat a pizza that wasn’t made from lavash wraps.
I was also really hungry. I was like that all last week-I nearly crashed my car because I was reaching into the back to grab a packet of WW crisps and looked back up at the road in time to swerve away from a parked car 😱. Could you imagine if I had hit it? ‘I’m sorry I drove into your car but I was hungry!’ ??
Anyway back to the meal. Quite a lot of wine was drunk and I had a couple of glasses when I went home which resulted in my husband putting me to bed with a glass of water at 9pm!
Yesterday dawned and although I wasn’t ill I had hangover munchies-I was even tempted to go to McDonalds
So it was crumpets and cheese on toast for most of the day and a few wines at the night with yet more cheese.
This is 2 weeks on the run where I’ve over indulged on Saturday resulting in poor choices on the Sunday. I gained half on Friday and need to get my head back in it to stop another gain this week.
I enjoyed my pizza, I haven’t even looked up the Smart Points value yet but I will today when I sit down with my journal. It’s my birthday at the end of February and I’m going for 5.5lb off for then. No more silly Saturdays-next Saturday it will be back to a homemade low pointed pizza

NSV

exercise, healthy eating, mums losing weight, muscle, Non scale victory, NSV, Uncategorized, wearing heels, weight lifting, weight loss, weight struggles, weight training, Weight Watchers

On the back of my last blog where we talked about the scales not being the only way to measure our successes I have been thinking about my NSVs ( non scale victories).

Here are mine from the last week:
Feeling fitter and my fitness levels have improved
Flexibilty-instead of my stomach getting in the way when I’m doing stretches I can actually reach further
I have my ‘gym buzz’ back-I know exercise isn’t for very one and plenty of people lose weight without it but for me exercise and food choices go hand in hand. If I’m not exercising I’m not eating well
People commenting that I look smaller
Being mindful of food choices. I’m very conscious of portion size (even cheese-although I do still have the odd sneak into the kitchen like a mouse and nibble on cheese from the fridge) plus I’ve started reading a book about sugar which I’ll share once I’ve finished it
Drinking low alcohol wine-followers of this blog will know that wine is a big weakness of mine and eats all of my weekly points away-oops
Ordering my Christmas Pjs-yes I know I’m a adult but I still get Christmas Pjs from my mum to wear on Christmas Eve and that’s a confession I don’t mind sharing, I love my Christnas traditions. I was discussing with my sister what size to order and said my size 16 pjs were loose but pjs are supposed to be loose so that’s fine-I then checked the label and realised that they were actually size 14 (and loose) so this year I’ll be in size 14 pjs for Christmas
Wearing heels for more than an hour without my feet hurting! This is my favourite NSVs. Walking in heels makes me feel confident and attractive. When I was slim I used to stand up delivering training courses in heels all day, then as I put on weight it went from starting the day in heels and I’d switch down to flats for the rest of the day to wearing flats all day. I stopped wearing heels although when I was about 5 months pregnant and I didn’t attempt to put heels back on until over 7 months later-seriously my feet swelled up so much they looked like they belonged on a baby elephant!
Even then the heels were only 2 inch max and my feet hurt within around 30 minutes of putting them on.
Recently I have started training in heels again-although for some reason I have lost the ability to walk in shoes that just slip on. I literally need strapping in to be able to walk in them! It occurred to me today that I have worn heels for 2 days on the run now and even though I’ve not been constantly stood up or walking around in them my feet are doing just fine 🙂
So those are my NSVS from this week. I have just done my inches so I’ll see how many inches I can loss before Christmas
Heels are on and I’m struting towards a smaller me

There may be trouble ahead……

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Weigh in yesterday and I lost a pound which is good considering my cheese and wine slip ups-must have been the exercise.  I get weighed in the morning then the day was spent at Chester Zoo with family and friends and my Fitbit was at nearly 19000 steps by the time I went to bed-that will be enough to burn off the mint Cornetto I had whilst I was there! I did take a nice healthy picnic though aswell. Today started with a tough intense gym session with a personal trainer so we are nicely on track. We are having take away tonight-haven’t had one for ages and I can point a 7in pizza so that’s not too bad. However, it was my husbands birthday on Thursday and we are spending the night away tomorrow for it. I have checked the hotel menu and I can have salmon (see I can be a good Weight Watcher at times) it will be the wine that will do the damage (as you know I can also be a bad one!) Monday morning will see us having a hotel breakfast to cure a hangover-it’s not often we get a child free night and morning so I’m assuming we will have a fair few drinks. My mum and step dad are going to Australia on Tuesday for 3 months so we are going out for a family meal on Monday and I have already decided I’m having cheese and onion pie. Yes, yes I know a good Weight Watcher would have something less full of ‘bad’ fats but we are going to The Same Yet in Prestwich and their cheese and onion pie is delicious plus it comes with mushy peas which is one of my favourite foods 🙂 It will also be washed down with a few glasses of wine to say Bon Voyage! I have a couple of gym sessions booked in during the week and I’ve also just worked out a fish pie recipe that I’ll make on Tuesday. Its got to be about damage limitation where I can. I’m working in Ireland on Thursday.  I am doing there and back in a day so it’s going to be a long day and I’ve no idea what the food situation will be and I don’t know about you but after I come off a plane I’m always really bloated for a few days so god knows what the scales will say on Friday morning. There are more trips to Ireland planned. In fact I am working in Ireland more than England in September so as I said there may be trouble ahead…..